What's Done is Done

So I guess what has had me so preoccupied is now over. Now I think a new phase has just started. I have learned so much about human nature this past few days. I would really like to think people are basically good but sometimes you really have to wonder. Yesterday I was really mad. This morning I went to the garages and took it out there. I wish I could be that angry before a race. This entry may be stream of consciousness and for that I am sorry. I just have so many questions rattling around in my tired brain. This last month I have been given an opportunity that is good for me professionally but has really disturbed me for many reasons. I have gotten to see some inside workings and I realized I am really naive and pretty much foolish. I have to remain vague in this area just to make myself feel better about posting this. Really this post is so I can empty out these thoughts and maybe gain some clarity. I was so angry I was near tears which I haven't been for years. What is it about a group that makes everyone cave under peer pressure? Behind closed doors everyone can agree but as soon as you have to stand behind what you think is right some (or most) cave like dominoes. I saw this yesterday but I was the only one standing by myself feeling foolish for believing what I was told. My eyes are opened now and I can't go back I just wish what I saw was not so completely disappointing. I guess these things happen to harden you against the world. Unfortunately this experience has also made me on the paranoid side and I think most people have a hidden agenda so this post may not be up for long. I don't think anyone who would know what I am talking about would read this but you never know. Until yesterday I thought I had a pretty good idea about people...

Changes

Things have been really busy lately. I am still running whenever I can fit it in. Work has been all consuming lately and then the rest of the time I sleep or am with the family. Coffee has become a staple in my diet for better or worse. I try to make sure all of my workouts are quality but it is just hard to fit them in. Changes are happening everywhere. I personally like change and am not to resistant to other new ideas. This makes life interesting and keeps me wondering what will happen next. I don't however like confrontation and with theses changes coming about confrontation is inevitable. I know this is a good experience for me but it is still unsettling. I am talking about some decisions I have been called upon to make for work. Change is hard to deal with for lots of people and I have found recently it can make some down right hostile. I don't like people to be upset with me so this whole process has started to eat at me. The right choice of course is not always the popular one. So I am left thinking how does it end? That answer should come at the end of next week. Let's hope some people are still talking to me by then.

Monday, Blah

I went for a short run on the treadmill this afternoon. This consisted of a one mile warm up and then seven something the next two. After this I went to my class at the Y which by now is starting to not hurt so bad. I am getting to know the people and the trainer is a lot nicer now (he hasn't run with us since the first day). We did a 10 minute run and I tried to cover a much distance as possible then we did something like suicides down the field. We ended our outdoor session with a quick game of soccer. This was really fun and I have much more respect for what my kids do every week. I wish I didn't cringe when the ball comes my way but I know it is just about to hit me in the head! Actually our team did pretty good and I got in a few good efforts. We then went inside for weights, push ups, lunges, and ab work. Tomorrow is an early morning of hill climbing at Mount Bacon. Now I am ready to clean up and relax!!

Where Did That PR Go?

Well it seems many found theirs this weekend but mine has yet show itself this season. Really it is my fault for being a slacker lately. I did redeem myself a little by showing up at the BCRR run on Sunday and it was a good workout for me. I just need a kick in the butt and bad races seem to be what do it for me. I really hate speed work so unless I want to just maintain I have to come up with something. I guess I will keep racing and get back to more miles if that is what it takes. Oh well someone let me know if they find an extra PR laying around I could sure use it.

Speed and Hills

Today I got myself up and met the group at Memorial for garages. I was tired at the end of the warm up so I knew this would not be an easy task. I managed to complete one garage and then I had to rest while the group started the second. I was able to go again for the last repeat and then I was exhausted for the cool down run back to the park. The humidity is definitely draining me. My legs were also tired from speed yesterday. I did a mile warm up at 8:20 and then three miles of 200 meters at 6:07 pace with 200 rest at 8:20. Toward the end I tried to run the rest period faster. After my speed work I went to the circuit class at the Y for my daily torture. That's about all lately tomorrow should be an easy 5 miles.